Self Portrait # 18


All we have is now.

Don’t think.

It complicates things.

Just feel, and if it feels like home,

then follow its path. – r.m. drake

Oh the lessons I am learning. I am an overthinker, an overanalyzer. I get tunnel vision and get set on a path that I think is the only way. So many people have been brought into my life the last little white that are testing me to the core. That have opened my eyes. I am learning to detach. To send love to the outcome, but not one that I want, one that will be of the utmost good to whoever is involved. I am learning to trust and let go. To breathe. One of these people that I have recently met, who listens to my crazy texts and tells me to breathe on a daily basis, told me to go put my feet in the grass. He pointed out that as an empath, I need to ground myself daily.

I thought he was crazy, but it turns out he’s very smart. Every day, I walk into my back yard, take my boots off, stick my feet in the grass and turn my face to the sun. I stand here, and I give my thanks, because there is so much to be thankful for. I also sometimes get mad and curse, but that’s ok, ying and yang baby. Life is hard. Right now is hard. Today I want to scream and run away, but instead I stick my feet in the cold damn earth, and I breathe, I curse, because I don’t want to have to keep doing this fight, but then I say thanks for all of the good that is coming from it.

If it feels like home, if it feels right, then follow it’s path. We try to say, once I have this and this and this….then I will be happy, then I can do that. But if we wait for this and this and this…we will always be waiting. There is no check list for life. Put your feet in the ground, and push back. Take what feels good. Or else you will always be waiting for the right time, and it will never come. All we have is now. Now is the right time.

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