So, this is even bigger then my car news….cause I’m holding the keys to a house I have just moved my kids into. It’s not our forever, it’s our resting place. Where we are going to cocoon and heal and get ready to become butterflies for our new life.
I fell like my insides are going to burst with happiness. I decided on a Wednesday it was time to find something to rent for now, looked at a place on Thursday, filled out the application and was told it was mine on Friday. I felt like the old Jill….the one that got shit done.
I was really lucky to have had my dad generously offer for the kids and I to move in with him in January. It was what I needed to do to be able to pause and decide what my next step would be. I know he would have been fine for us to stay, but it just didn’t feel right to me. Everything in my soul was telling me I needed to find my own little spot where I could finally start to heal and find my independence. So I did something that was really scary for me. I constantly worry about finances and making sure I can support my four kids, so spending money on more rent (I already rent my photography studio) was daunting, but I knew it was necessary for this chapter in my life.
The last seven years I was made to feel very insignificant by those around me, and I started to believe it. My dad asked me why it took me so long to leave after he realized everything that had happened to me, and my answer was: I didn’t think I could leave. I didn’t think I could do it on my own….and then when I finally did make the decision, I was told I wouldn’t be able to survive or make it on my own and endured as someone did everything in his power to back up his words….
Looks like I’m doing just fine.