Today you would have been 60, and you would have hated it. You would have wanted to be celebrated, but the number would not have been spoken of. Actually, I think you would have stopped counting a few birthdays back.
I try and picture what you would look like now, the things you would say. I try to remember your laugh and how you lit up when your grandchildren came to see you. It is bittersweet how some memories fade. How you can forget the sound of a voice, the embrace of your arms.
The kids still talk about you. I sing to them every night the song you sang to me. The girls still shed tears for you, saying they wished you were still here. They remember you fondly. You would have had your hands full with them, I think you would have met your match. You and Kaleb would have been snuggle bugs, the girls would have had you paint their nails constantly, and Elijah would have enjoyed the candy and chips you would have filled him with.
The years keep passing, but the hurt never leaves. You know who, made today as difficult as possible, but I’ve come to realize that that is just the way this is going to go, some people just aren’t wholesome. Thankfully you taught me to have a voice, to be strong and not back down when somebody tries to wrong you. I might have got my stubborn streak from dad, but I got my voice from you.
The kids and I find your dimes everywhere. Thankyou. They are always excited, especially when they are found in the strangest places.
I wish you could be here today, eating your cake, enjoying your grandchildren and planting your flowers you always got on your birthday. I wish this life had not been so hard for you. If I could make a thousand birthday wishes, it would be that you were here with us. Your light burned out too soon.
I should have known you would have skipped your 60th.
Love you always,